The past 6 months
I’ve been silent for a long time. Its been a very very crazy 6 months and I just didn’t know if I ever wanted to write about it to the world. I’ve been laid off, moved home, and had to deal with family issues all in the span of 2 months. I found a new job in April that I have grown to love the atmosphere and energy that it gives me. I’m in a different field from what I was in before, but I’m actually happy about it. I can focus more on my graphics at night and the weekends when I’m ready. I got back into Zumba, and even became a Zumba Instructor. I celebrated my Golden Birthday, and saw my best friend get married. I like the field that I’m in and I think its something that I could be in for a long time. I’m so nervous about the future and I can’t help but think about things a month in advanced. My family went through a birth of my beautiful niece, Zemira, and we went through some very sad and shocking news, when we heard the “C” word.
This is not my story to tell, but its through my eyes that I tell this.
I don’t know how to react to some things anymore. I’m learning to not take things for granted and just live everyday with a smile on my face. I’m hoping for the best and prepared for the worst. At least I think so. The “C” word is Cancer by the way. It’s just some distant thing when you hear it on the news or in movies or on tv. But when you actual hear it in person, it becomes so real and so hard to comprehend. You don’t know how to react and the fact is, we don’t know where it came from or how it came. It sucks. It really sucks. Watching the journey these past 6 months has been crazy. But seeing my mom be the ultimate bad ass has been something short of a miracle. Strong willed. Strong. Hard headed. Amazing. Loving. Accepting. The list can go on and on as for what this person is to me. She is my everything. She is best friend and she understands me the most.
Being there as much as I could for her in the beginning was the way I could help her out. I was there to take her to her appointments and then to pick her up when she needed it. I’m the pusher, I make her get up and move when she needs to even though she may not like it. I’m the strong one, (she’s still waiting for me to cry or break down), but I take it in and soak it all in. I’m strong-willed. I just took it day by day along with the ups and downs. Sometimes I didn’t know what to do and how I could help her, so I did my best. I’m her baby and all so its hard to see her in pain, just like she doesn’t like to see me in pain. I ask the questions and I research. I learn as much as I can and support with what I can.
I cant say what is to come of the future, but I know that right now in this moment, everything is ok. We are going about our lives day by day and that all we can do. Life happens and seriously when it does make an appearance it hits you hard. Its nothing short of a big bulls eye in the back. What can you do?
We found out she is in remission and I am so happy to say that. I was grinning for a long time after she told me because it’s a weight lifted off of all of our shoulders! We take the next steps and then live our lives from there. I couldn’t ask for better news and I know she and all our family was happy to hear it. Thank you God for answering and hearing our prayers throughout this time. I believe in you and I am so grateful for the happiness and joy that comes from you.
Lymphoma Awareness. I support and am a caregiver. Research Lymphoma cancer if you don’t know what it is. Its Non-Hodgkins if you want to look more in-depth. I am Lymphoma Aware.